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Powerlessness

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Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won't have a title until much later. Bob Goff

I was at Mayo recently and the Neurologist told me that I'm in the early stages of Primary Progressive Aphasia. It's progressive and at some point, along the line, I will not be able to speak.

I've struggling to find words since early April 2019. I needed a PET Scan when I was at Mayo, but I couldn't find the words. So, Rey stepped in and said the words for me. My speech pathologist said that I need a journal when I make phone calls. I write out the things I need to say, and voila, it works. I wish I had it at Mayo that day.

I am powerless against this disease. I can take supplements, but I am still helpless against this disease. It's hard to be powerless. 

It's a surrendering, of sorts. You must be willing to give up being in charge of your life. It's an entrusting oneself to the Savior. A relinquishing.

My favorite verse during this season is, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. —2nd Corinthians 12:9

God's grace is sufficient for each new day that comes our way.

It's the friends who can sit silently with me… and not fill in the blanks for me. But sit and listen to me as I complete my sentences. That's my Soul Sister's. My precious friends. You know who you are. I love you to the moon and back. They wait patiently until I find the words. And my friend, LuAnn, who waits patiently when I have trouble with finding words. And listens as I grope in silence.

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.Henri Nouwen

What a gift. I can't imagine doing this without them. I know they are praying for me too. I have a lot of prayer warriors out there. Thank you to everyone of you!

Those prayers fill me with such peace, as I face this new battle. 

I want to leave you with this verse, "May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit." —Philippians 4:23 

Look Up at the Heavens
Fear
 

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    Julie

    I’m turning 62 this year. I can hardly believe it myself. But, I’ve decided that I no longer want to live comfortably. I want to live with a spirit of adventure like I had in the past. To be unafraid of what’s new or different. I want to remain so open to the Spirit of the living God that his love compels me to go wherever he leads me.
  • LuAnn

    LuAnn

    I am passionate about people leaning into all that Jesus is. You. Me. Us. Journeying together with God. This is my greatest blessing. And now that my kiddos are out on their own, I’m learning to navigate my new normal. And I am finding there is life after little ones and teens after all!
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    Emilie

    I am currently finishing my degree in relational communications and plan to graduate in the spring of 2020!! I am thankful I have had time to grow, heal, appreciate a slower pace of living, and to invest more time into relationships with family, friends, and God. Through this process I am learning what I want to prioritize in my life and figuring out ways to make that happen. Most of all, I am figuring out that life is all about process, taking steps closer to where I want to be and celebrating the little victories but also accepting that there will be setbacks and disappointments along the way.
  • Sally

    Sally

    Sally Cranham is a singer and writer from the UK. She uses biblical narrative and her own experience to write deeply into the heart of the human condition. She currently works as a volunteer for SourceMN as their Arts Outreach Coordinator and has lived as a Residential Volunteer at Source’s anti-trafficking transitional annex alongside women who have come out of the life of prostitution.
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