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Wonder Woman?

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We all have a Wonder Woman inside us. Diane Von Furstenburg

I used to be a Wonder Woman. I used to juggle leadership roles, writing, working, being a mom and wife well. Somewhere along the way, I seemed to have lost her. And I've been struggling to find her ever since.

I don't know if it's hitting the 60's that's doing it. Or if it's the medication I'm on. But I can hardly juggle a single ball well.

I know women who have gone back to school at my age. Maybe I just need to stimulate my mind a bit more.

I know that winter has a chilling effect on me. I kind of do what the bears do… hibernate.

Now that it is spring perhaps, I can find that rhythm again.

I've come to the prayer cabin to rediscover that person that's down deep inside of me. A time to be alone with God and hear his heart for me.

I've walked the woods, spent time by the lakeside, followed a pair of hoot owls, been serenaded by singing frogs and croaking toads. All joys of being in the woods. Such a gift being tucked here alone with the Savior.

I stumbled upon this beautiful quote by Paul that really spoke to my heart.

I ask him to strengthen you by his Spiritnot a brute strength but a glorious inner strengththat Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of his love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God. —Ephesians 3:16-19 MSG

He goes on to say…

God can do anything, you knowfar more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! Ephesians 3:20 MSG

I guess I don't need to be a Wonder Woman after all. I just need to lean into Jesus.

But the reality is I struggle with leaning. Leaning means you must rely on someone else; you must cast your weight on someone for support. I've never been good at that. Especially since I didn't have the support I needed when I was younger.

I understood earlier on that if I made a mistake, I was on my own, because there wasn't going to be anyone to help me process through it.

That's why it's hard for me to lean. It's hard for me to trust that God will be there when I need him most.

But the reality is I don't do a very good job on my own strength either. I mess things up a lot. It's hard for me to ask for help.

So, I don't.

I'm afraid. To be weak. To let down my guard.

If you've had to pick yourself up and dust yourself off or if you didn't have someone safe to lean on growing up, you understand how hard it is.

Paul tells us that if we invite God smack dab into the mess that we've made, he promises the strength we need to take the next step. To ask for help. To let down your guard. To trust him again.

But, if you're like me, it'll be scary. To be vulnerable. To place your fragile self into God's hands. We just need to remember…

God can do anything, you knowfar more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!

So, when I return, I'm going to seek out someone safe that I can meet with. I am going to let my guard down, lean in and trust the Savior to walk with me.

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. —C.S. Lewis

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  • Julie

    Julie

    I’m turning 60 next month. I can hardly believe it myself. But, I’ve decided that I no longer want to live comfortably. I want to live with a spirit of adventure like I had in the past. To be unafraid of what’s new or different. I want to remain so open to the Spirit of the living God that his love compels me to go wherever he leads me.
  • LuAnn

    LuAnn

    I am passionate about people leaning into all that Jesus is. You. Me. Us. Journeying together with God. This is my greatest blessing. And now that my kiddos are out on their own, I’m learning to navigate my new normal. And I am finding there is life after little ones and teens after all!
  • Emilie

    Emilie

    I am currently a full-time nanny and will be returning to school in the fall of 2019 to finish mydegree in relational communications and graduate in the spring of 2020. I am using this break from school to grow, heal, appreciate a slower pace of living, and to invest more time into relationships with family, friends, and God. Through this process I am learning what I want to prioritize in my life and figuring out ways to make that happen. Most of all, I am figuring out that life is all about process, taking steps closer to where I want to be and celebrating the little victories but also accepting that there will be setbacks and disappointments along the way.
  • Sally

    Sally

    Sally Cranham is a singer and writer from the UK. She uses biblical narrative and her own experience to write deeply into the heart of the human condition. She currently works as a volunteer for SourceMN as their Arts Outreach Coordinator and has lived as a Residential Volunteer at Source’s anti-trafficking transitional annex alongside women who have come out of the life of prostitution.
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